Wannabe Sex and 'The City'?

I caught The City in a rerun last night. Because this show is blatantly aspiring to be a Carrie Bradshaw-esque vehicle for Whitney Port, let's pretend we are watching Sex and the City and imagine we are enagaging in a ritual that leads and finishes with the first word in the title of the show, shall we?

First impressions:

Jay is Justin Bobby, Olivia is a bitch (who looks like Julia Roberts), and Erin looks like Heidi's colleague at Bolthouse Productions (seriously, can't tell the difference between the two).

Courtship:

Jay has a pretty spot-on irritating American accent, Olivia is a big phony ("hiii Elizabeth, how are yooou?"), and the cast members (not to mention the producers) are very irrelevant for casting themselves as "uptown" vs. "downtwown" folks (this is not West Side story!)

First Kiss:

Whitney and Jay's first on-camera kiss!

Foreplay:

Some fashion work stuff, Alex accusing Jay of being a Justin Bobby, and Olivia being more bitchy by asking Whitney "Where's Jaaay?"

Climax:

1. Jay proving he's not so bad by showing up at the lame, uptown, dinner party to pick up Whitney! 2. And Kelly Cutrone being awesome as usual! Yay!